I can't put my finger on when I met Rebecca, but I do remember her personality was like a magnet. She got along with just about everyone, made anyone laugh, easy to talk to, all in all such a breath of fresh air. I do remember one thing, after I met her she leaned in to hug me and I knew the scent immediately, Estee Lauder's Beyond Paradise. I have one little sample bottle, I can't bring myself to use it because its like having the little last memory I have of Rebecca. Days when I'm cooking with cloves I stop and inhale the clove to almost intoxication. Becca used to smoke cloves and she always smelt of sweet cloves, it was almost addictive. I remember the silly things. When I was tapping in OD, I went to go get my application signed and neither of us had a pen. She took her ashed clove and swiped it across the paper. I'm pretty sure she was supposed to yell at me for being unprepared, but she just smiled her Becca smile.
Yesterday, I went to the outlets and I went to the Cosmetic Company Outlet. Usually I would have had a free for all because of all the high end brands for super cheap. That wasn't the case this time. All I wanted to do was take the sample bottle of Beyond Paradise and just curl up in a little ball and cry. There are days I know she is the only one that could cheer me and she's not here anymore. When I talk out loud now I talk to Becca now. I know she's the only one listening to me. Sometimes, the answer just comes to me and I know Becca put it in my head.
Sometimes I think WWBD?....What Would Becca Do? The answer to that question would usually be take a fukitol and call it a day. That was the Becca answer to everything. Don't worry about anything that people are going to forget when the next best thing comes along. I knew when they told me I was Becca's lil sis, it wasn't by random. There wasn't any denial about how close Becca and I were. I miss her so much and I don't think she ever realized the impact she made on people. I wish I had a quote, poem, a song lyric to explain it. All I can think of is how I miss my big sis. I'm trying to get in tune with my inner elephant so I can remember the times I spent with her but the sadness of her absence is more overwhelming and won't let me think of anything else. I miss you so much Becca. I know you're sitting on the mountain top and over looking all of us but I just wish you were here. Rest in peace!
