Who doesn't love Staples? Well, I should mention this isn't about the Staples you're thinking. I'm talking about my 10th grade English teacher turned theater director during my junior and senior year, Mrs. Kimberly Staples. So this is going to be a dedication post to one of the most incredible people I know. She was just recently inducted into the Georgia Thespian Hall of Fame. I seriously can't think of anyone more deserving.
It was the first day of my sophomore year and I found a new name on my schedule. The last class of the day was going to be English with some lady named Kimberly Staples. I'm not going to lie, I wasn't exactly excited that I had the new teacher in the system. In high school, I'll admit I was basically a legacy and my brother had broken in every teacher before I got there, which made my days in classes so much more easy. All I could think was, "great, I'm going to have to break this one in myself". She seemed stern and it didn't help I hated English. The semester passed and there were days I just wasn't very fond of the class and I was having trouble warming up to my new teacher. After winter break, most of the sophomore class was about to start reading Shakespeare's Julius Caesar. At Buford High School, this meant only one thing, having to memorize Marc Antony's eulogy for Julius Caesar that resulted in the Roman revolt. Every sophomore dreads it and hates it. I personally wasn't looking forward to it, but heeding my brother's warning, I read over it during my winter break (overachiever). To my surprise, Mrs. Staples throws us a curve ball, she asked us to write a modern day version of the speech in the point of view of the person of our choice. I played the air head role in high school pretty well (still do) so I chose to write my speech in the point of view of a homecoming queen. I think this assignment alone changed my view of my new teacher in general as well. I was finally warming up to her and I started feeling more comfortable with her as well. At the end of the year we read the play Our Town out loud. I thought it was odd but I didn't mind because it was just reading and there wasn't really any assignments outside of class. She gave me the role of Emily and it wasn't until half way through the play I realized what the role entailed. Like usual I was in a state of oblivion and didn't even realize that Emily was a principle character in the play. Oddly, it was this part of the class that made me want to audition for the One Act Play the following year.
To this day, I still don't know how this lady was able to suck me in, but I'm just glad she did. She turned the math geek into someone who was actually interested in performing arts as well as literature in general (I mean really I have a blog). I decided the day of auditions that I wanted to try out. During break, I went to Mrs. Staples and asked to borrow the script for Our Town. I had decided that I was going to take the easy road and audition with Emily's final goodbye. I spent the next five hours memorizing the piece in time for my audition and I, of course, stumbled on every line and butchered the entire monologue. I figured, I would the very least be a stage hand at this point. When the roles were posted, I was astonished to find out not only did I have a part, I actually had a line! The play chosen that year for One Act was Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew and we even placed second in the State Competition. It was a great time, I made great friends and really saw a different side this woman I had at one point been afraid of. In a short few months, Mrs. Staples had turned me into, dare I say it, a theater geek. At the end of the year, I was inducted into the Thespian Society and I had one more thing to add to my college applications. However, for once I didn't care about some college application or having one more picture in the yearbook in the clubs and activities section, I really was falling in love with being on the stage.
For my senior year, I signed up for musical theater. This class alone changed my entire outlook of my final year at Buford High School. After I got accepted to my top choices, I checked out of my senior year and was ready to graduate, too bad I still had seven more months of tolerating the craziness. Mrs. Staples had chosen the musical theater class for One Act Play that year and the musical in question was Chicago. I was the character June, a merry murderess who was ditzy and in a constant state of oblivion (no typecasting there, huh). My voice was fairly hidden within the chorus, I didn't have much rhythm, had probably one of the funniest monologues, and played air head a little too well. Once again, one of the best experiences of my life. Even now thinking back at the moment on stage, I choke up slightly.
The second musical for the year was Stud Terkel's Working. This musical had a cast that outnumbered the number of people in the class, so we were given multiple part. To my surprise, I was given a lengthy monologue, along with my first solo (sang in Spanish, mind you). I remember being really confused when she gave me the part of your typical secretary working with a "boss that was Satan". She had a long monologue and I had yet to harness my talent in acting. I was good at the singing part, but that about covered it; leaving me to only be a threat and not a triple threat like the rest of the class. It wasn't until my classmate/friend Miles reminded me of my one little line in Taming of the Shrew, I realized I had come so far. I never expected to grow talent wise in theater, I just needed to find something to do to fill up my college application's extracurricular activities section. The role that gave me my solo, was nothing short of typecasting...LOL. I played a Spanish immigrant working at a grocery store. The solo was entirely in Spanish and sang in first soprano which I had been avoiding for a long time. The experience of singing that song still resonates in my memory and still seems overwhelming. I remember being sick about a week before dress rehearsals and somehow my voice tapped into muscle memory to help me sing it. At the end of the year, during Awards Day, when Mrs. Staples presented the Musical Theater Award, I had no expectations. I was one of four seniors, two of them played principle characters in the fall musical, I figured I was far from the running. One of the seniors, Miles, was absolutely amazing and I was sure she would give it to him for being such an outstanding/improving actor for three straight years. She begins to describe the person -- "This young lady has been a pleasure to have in class. Someone told me she had the voice of Charlotte Church...". I jumped to the conclusion that it was the other senior girl that played Roxie during Chicago, she was a principle and had a strong voice. I looked at my friend Danielle and just said "I knew it". Then out of nowhere I hear my name. I looked at Danielle again, "um, I didn't know that".
I look back and realize today I didn't need my brother to break this one in. She has the heart of gold and in my eyes probably superwoman. This woman can direct four different plays at once, judge competitions, be the State Student Officer liaison for the Georgia Thespian Society, the sound lady for the choral department, teacher, wife, mother, and friend. You have to wonder when the woman breaths, let alone sleep and eat. Once again I whine in the morning when I've been exposed to the Energizer bunny in the form of a talented, classy, sincere, honest (brutally), warm woman. I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful influence and mentor in my life. I hope everyone has someone so amazing in their life.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Just because....?
One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving. - Paulo Coelho
LOL, I would start my post-Valentine's Day entry with a quote like that by Paulo Coelho, wouldn't I? I know I have this problem. Maybe I just want constant reassurance, but when I'm in a relationship I always ask, "why do you love me"? More recently, I would ask, "why am I so special". For some reason, I never accept the answer "just because". I don't find validity in that answer at all. I feel like the next girl that walks by could be the girl you love, "just because". Perhaps, Coelho is right though, maybe there is no reasoning in why someone loves, maybe it is "just because".
Some three years ago I received an email about how Valentine's Day was all thanks to the Gujarati women of India. Of course, considering the source, I love this story and embrace it, not to mention I found it really humorous. The tale goes:
Today, in the mail I got the sweetest Valentine card from my friend Harita. The card itself was funny but then she, of course, wrote a sweet message to sum up our friendship. Then I stop and remember, I love my friends. You must be wondering how I spent my Valentine's Day (maybe not, I'm going to tell you anyway). Well, 7:00 in the morning I woke up to work out. I'm going to New York the first weekend of March and will be seeing people I have seen in years. Has modesty completely escaped me and I want to look amazing when I see everyone? The answer is yes! Do I hope to bump into people/family members that were discouraging in my past? The answer to that question is also yes. After spending about 2 hours at the gym, I came back home and put in a day's work, after all it was still a Monday. Eventually, I received a phone call from my childhood best friend, Sonal. She asked if I would come to her new house to help her organize her kitchen. I love kitchens and have been dying to see her new house so, of course, I jumped at the opportunity. How could I say no? Why would I want to say no? Sonal has been my friend for close to 20 years now and I can only remember on two or three occasions we've gotten into an argument, lasting no longer than 48 hours. I went over and we washed all the dishes, put them all away, decided on chairs for the breakfast table, and mapped out how couch would look in the living room. What a fun way to spend a Valentine's, right? Yes, actually it was great because it wasn't until her husband walked in, plus McDonald's cookies sans roses and box of chocolate, I even remembered it was Valentine's. The loneliness I was dreading yesterday not once even crossed my mind. I'm reminded once again, I love my friends and I equally appreciate their significant others (my friend-in-laws...lol).
I hope everyone had a great *Velan*time Day. When you are loved its okay to just be loved, no reasoning behind it, it's "just because". I guess in light of that, maybe we should just do something "just because", not because we're trying to escape our annual velan beating...LOL. :)
LOL, I would start my post-Valentine's Day entry with a quote like that by Paulo Coelho, wouldn't I? I know I have this problem. Maybe I just want constant reassurance, but when I'm in a relationship I always ask, "why do you love me"? More recently, I would ask, "why am I so special". For some reason, I never accept the answer "just because". I don't find validity in that answer at all. I feel like the next girl that walks by could be the girl you love, "just because". Perhaps, Coelho is right though, maybe there is no reasoning in why someone loves, maybe it is "just because".
Some three years ago I received an email about how Valentine's Day was all thanks to the Gujarati women of India. Of course, considering the source, I love this story and embrace it, not to mention I found it really humorous. The tale goes:
On February 14, the women of Gujarat would ceremoniously beat up their husbands with velans. A velan is the rolling pin used to make rotlis, parathas, etc. Soon the Gujarati men realized that in order to avoid this ordeal they needed to present gifts to their wives. Hence, the tradition began that the day was called "velan-time" day.I've been told I love with no limits. My friend Kamilah once told me that even if I happen to be with someone sub par, I put them on the highest pedastool. As an Aries, I pretty much refuse to admit I might have possibly chose someone less than exceptional because that's like I'm almost admitting that, Bhagwan forbid, I was WRONG! I never used to be one of those girls that listened to the whole horoscope thing, but after an astrology class and a lot of nights surfing the web, I realized it's not entirely off. I was reading the "Love and Compatibility" article for Aries. After reading the entire article, I found myself thinking about my past relationships. I realized a lot that my impatience did come from a weakness in the character of my significant other. When I say weakness, I'm referring to the inability to be secure with the relationship and/or the fact I can't be molded from a clay cup to clay vase. An Aries is stubborn, there is really no way around that. The article states, "By being more tolerant, Aries subjects can find greater happiness." This might be true, but something significant has to happen to said Aries for him or her to become tolerant. I think my tolerance came from the moment I decided to become selfish for once instead of caring so much about everyone around me. Aries love deeply, but they don't wear their heart on their sleeves. How does an Aries ever really truly love then? When I departed from these cares, I realized loving and caring was a lot easier, but only if it was the right person. Oxymoron of the day: Patient Aries.
Today, in the mail I got the sweetest Valentine card from my friend Harita. The card itself was funny but then she, of course, wrote a sweet message to sum up our friendship. Then I stop and remember, I love my friends. You must be wondering how I spent my Valentine's Day (maybe not, I'm going to tell you anyway). Well, 7:00 in the morning I woke up to work out. I'm going to New York the first weekend of March and will be seeing people I have seen in years. Has modesty completely escaped me and I want to look amazing when I see everyone? The answer is yes! Do I hope to bump into people/family members that were discouraging in my past? The answer to that question is also yes. After spending about 2 hours at the gym, I came back home and put in a day's work, after all it was still a Monday. Eventually, I received a phone call from my childhood best friend, Sonal. She asked if I would come to her new house to help her organize her kitchen. I love kitchens and have been dying to see her new house so, of course, I jumped at the opportunity. How could I say no? Why would I want to say no? Sonal has been my friend for close to 20 years now and I can only remember on two or three occasions we've gotten into an argument, lasting no longer than 48 hours. I went over and we washed all the dishes, put them all away, decided on chairs for the breakfast table, and mapped out how couch would look in the living room. What a fun way to spend a Valentine's, right? Yes, actually it was great because it wasn't until her husband walked in, plus McDonald's cookies sans roses and box of chocolate, I even remembered it was Valentine's. The loneliness I was dreading yesterday not once even crossed my mind. I'm reminded once again, I love my friends and I equally appreciate their significant others (my friend-in-laws...lol).
I hope everyone had a great *Velan*time Day. When you are loved its okay to just be loved, no reasoning behind it, it's "just because". I guess in light of that, maybe we should just do something "just because", not because we're trying to escape our annual velan beating...LOL. :)
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Say all the ridiculous things you want to say....
....because eventually one of those ridiculous things will be the answer to your life. My friend Kamilah says that's one of the major rules in life.
Well today I say, "Gucci's Guilty makes me want to lick the sky." Well that's clearly not the answer to my life, but the more I inhale it, the more I seem to drift away into oblivion of what's really going on around me.
Pandora decided to play a bad joke on me today. Good music has been known to make me cry but today was just a hot mess. Every song made me stop what I was doing, look up the lyrics, dissect every line, and apply it to someone or something in my life. That's rude Pandora, no one likes when you do things like that. For once, I almost wish Ke$ha chimed in with "We are who we are" (um...ALMOST).
First she (yes, I've decided to personify Pandora and make it a woman) decided to play "What's a man to do," by Usher. Well the problem with that song would be the fact that some people come into my life at the wrong time and later decide they want to revisit their past. I've come to terms with this because usually the day before and day of I feel a knot in my stomach telling me, "something isn't right" (woman's intuition perhaps?). It always ends the same, "Hemina you're amazing, but I need to see if this will work out with *insert name*." Of course, I close my eyes for a second and with a calm face I reply, "Its okay, I understand, I wish you all the best and I hope it works out with *insert name*, you deserve the best. I'll walk away because I don't want to be a catalyst in anything that could happen in your future with *insert name*." Today as I listened to this Usher song, which usually I never listen to when shuffled on my mp3 player, I listened to the lyrics and I felt like I was back in the same vicinity of the men in my past. To this day, I can never hate these guys (yes, plural, its happened a few times). How can I hate a man for being honest? How can I hold a grudge because they're man enough to recognize they really do care about someone, that somebody is just not me? Who am I, to make him feel bad? Who am I, to stand in the way of their happiness? What would I get out of yelling and shouting? Most of the time, the guy has spent enough time beating himself up about it and I just don't want to make it any worse. However, for some reason my reaction to the situation is rare to the guy. Last time this happened, the guy pretty much begged me to hit him or something and I just smiled and told him, "No, I'll be okay." Later he told me he wish I would just hate him because it would be easier for HIM to move on. Finally I hear the truth, a clean break is hard for most people to fathom. It takes a lot for me to hate someone. Does everyone expect a dramatic, long winded, back and forth break? I told a friend today if break ups were fun there would be no such thing as true companionship that leads to marriage. He just responded with something along the lines that he knows just it really sucks. Courtney tells me I have the patience of a mule and she would be right. They say patience is a virtue, so I'm not saying what I do is right, it just happens to be by definition. Usher you asked, "what's a man to do," a man needs to always be honest. However, remember this -- if you backtrack, don't expect someone to be so receptive and you can be sure they will be rather guarded the second time around.
After dissecting that song, which in turn made me phase out the next 3-4 songs, the next song that caught my attention was Janet Jackson's "That's the way love goes." Talk about nostalgia at its finest. That bought me back to 3rd grade, it was after winter break and Melissa Bowers had gotten the record's cassette tape and a new walkman for Christmas. She walked into class, she pulled it out during recess, and we listen to the song over and over again. I'm pretty sure the two of us didn't really understand the sexual innuendos that were introduced but no less the soft trance of the beat and her sensual voice made us not really care. We were instantly sucked in and knew it was just a good song. I didn't realize it at the time, but to this day, that song will always and perhaps forever bring the biggest smile to my face. I remember the simplicity of my life back then and how much I took it for granted. I'm sure we all did, you only realize how wonderful your childhood was when its gone. I would do anything to go back to those days. Back in those days, my crushes lasted as long as the class I was in and over by the time I got home. Pandora was nice when she gave me that song.
The next song that was played was "I don't wanna" by Aaliyah. Does anyone else's heart cry a little when they hear an Aaliyah song? Let me go off on a tangent -- I remember exactly where I was when I found out she passed. I was working at Limited Too (now called Justice), when my co-worker Ashley walked in and made the announcement that Aaliyah had just been in the plane crash and DOA. I had started working my sophomore year in high school. My parents never allowed me to try-out for the cheerleading squad and they weren't a big fan of my colorguard days either. The only way I could get out of my house and also my parents approved seemed to be, find a job. Not only had I found a solution, I was making MONEY! It did suck I missed out on most of the football games and I couldn't really do the whole drama thing (theater drama not the he said, she said drama) but it was definitely worth it. My sophomore year, I ran cross country and worked on the weekends. It kept me out of trouble and equally kept me out of the social scene. I would have cross country practice during the week, work 4-10 on Fridays, I would have a meet on Saturdays in the mornings, immediately following the meets I had work 4-10, and Sundays I was the lucky one that got to work 11-7. That totaled out to 8-10 hours of practice, meets on Saturday, 20 hours of work, and 40 hours of just regular school a week. I somehow still go 6-8 hours of sleep a night and had 4 hours to spare for t.v. (pre-DVR days mind you) and homework. It's amazing how much I did back then and now I struggle just to go to the gym 5 hours a week. Clearly, I need to tap into my 16 year old self and stop complaining every morning how much I have to do. I know I just went into a major tangent (it was kind of relevant), but as far as the actual song goes, that brought in another memory all together. I remember the first time I heard that song. I was in 9th grade and on the bus coming back from a marching band competition (I was in colorguard back in the day). I remember I had a crush that year and I immediately related the song to him. Today, as I heard that song, I forget the name of my 9th grade crush, but I reference someone else in my head with that song. My attitude becomes somber and I get a slight grin filled with a little sadness. Funny how I think someone is out of my head and a song reminds me only of them. Even within the sadness of the lyrics, I seem to smile at the simple thought of this person. I'm still a little confused why this person came into mind, well slightly. I guess the song in general makes me think of high school, I met this person in high school, so in turn I think of this person in relation to this song...perhaps? To this day, I've never been able to tell this person how I really feel because I'm scared of ever tarnishing the friendship. The memory of this person is bitter sweet, well played again Pandora (pun definitely intended).
So after this crazy emotional ride, I decided to just change the station to Bollywood in hopes that I wouldn't have to think anymore. Oh no no, Pandora decided to open her box yet again! She plays Tumko Bhi from Kahbi Alvida Na Kehna. For those who don't know Hindi, kahbi alvida na kehna roughly translated means to "never say goodbye". The song is essentially talking about how two people who know they can't be together but don't ever want to say goodbye. You always have a glimmer of hope that it never comes to a final goodbye, but eventually its always best to walk away. Its always hard, always very emotional, and you always wonder if that person will ever come back. In the book Eleven Minutes, Paulo Coelho wrote, "I've learned that waiting is the most difficult bit, and I want to get used to the feeling, knowing that you're with me, even when you're not by my side." Well in light of that quote and conjunction of another famous Bollywood movie, I reference Shahrukh Khan. In Diwali Dulhania Le Jayenge he says something along the lines that habit becomes necessity. Well we can only hope that's the case in this situation. You only hope that the wait is so long, that the feeling becomes a habit, and finally it's only necessary to not have that person by your side and be free from it all. This makes more sense in my head, I promise. The sad reality is you eventually and inevitably have to say goodbye, whether its by the hands of Bhagwan or prematurely for whatever reason, it happens. My advice (take it with a grain of salt) just stay prepared that goodbye can be whenever and unfortunately, usually out of your hands.
Well thanks Pandora for the great trip down memory lane and the emotional roller coaster but I think I might just make my own playlist on my mp3 player until I can emotionally handle your random song turbulence. I think i might need to pull out the DJ Earworm and DJ Encore so I can have mental private dance parties (unless I am in an environment where I can act on it, of course).
Well today I say, "Gucci's Guilty makes me want to lick the sky." Well that's clearly not the answer to my life, but the more I inhale it, the more I seem to drift away into oblivion of what's really going on around me.
Pandora decided to play a bad joke on me today. Good music has been known to make me cry but today was just a hot mess. Every song made me stop what I was doing, look up the lyrics, dissect every line, and apply it to someone or something in my life. That's rude Pandora, no one likes when you do things like that. For once, I almost wish Ke$ha chimed in with "We are who we are" (um...ALMOST).
First she (yes, I've decided to personify Pandora and make it a woman) decided to play "What's a man to do," by Usher. Well the problem with that song would be the fact that some people come into my life at the wrong time and later decide they want to revisit their past. I've come to terms with this because usually the day before and day of I feel a knot in my stomach telling me, "something isn't right" (woman's intuition perhaps?). It always ends the same, "Hemina you're amazing, but I need to see if this will work out with *insert name*." Of course, I close my eyes for a second and with a calm face I reply, "Its okay, I understand, I wish you all the best and I hope it works out with *insert name*, you deserve the best. I'll walk away because I don't want to be a catalyst in anything that could happen in your future with *insert name*." Today as I listened to this Usher song, which usually I never listen to when shuffled on my mp3 player, I listened to the lyrics and I felt like I was back in the same vicinity of the men in my past. To this day, I can never hate these guys (yes, plural, its happened a few times). How can I hate a man for being honest? How can I hold a grudge because they're man enough to recognize they really do care about someone, that somebody is just not me? Who am I, to make him feel bad? Who am I, to stand in the way of their happiness? What would I get out of yelling and shouting? Most of the time, the guy has spent enough time beating himself up about it and I just don't want to make it any worse. However, for some reason my reaction to the situation is rare to the guy. Last time this happened, the guy pretty much begged me to hit him or something and I just smiled and told him, "No, I'll be okay." Later he told me he wish I would just hate him because it would be easier for HIM to move on. Finally I hear the truth, a clean break is hard for most people to fathom. It takes a lot for me to hate someone. Does everyone expect a dramatic, long winded, back and forth break? I told a friend today if break ups were fun there would be no such thing as true companionship that leads to marriage. He just responded with something along the lines that he knows just it really sucks. Courtney tells me I have the patience of a mule and she would be right. They say patience is a virtue, so I'm not saying what I do is right, it just happens to be by definition. Usher you asked, "what's a man to do," a man needs to always be honest. However, remember this -- if you backtrack, don't expect someone to be so receptive and you can be sure they will be rather guarded the second time around.
After dissecting that song, which in turn made me phase out the next 3-4 songs, the next song that caught my attention was Janet Jackson's "That's the way love goes." Talk about nostalgia at its finest. That bought me back to 3rd grade, it was after winter break and Melissa Bowers had gotten the record's cassette tape and a new walkman for Christmas. She walked into class, she pulled it out during recess, and we listen to the song over and over again. I'm pretty sure the two of us didn't really understand the sexual innuendos that were introduced but no less the soft trance of the beat and her sensual voice made us not really care. We were instantly sucked in and knew it was just a good song. I didn't realize it at the time, but to this day, that song will always and perhaps forever bring the biggest smile to my face. I remember the simplicity of my life back then and how much I took it for granted. I'm sure we all did, you only realize how wonderful your childhood was when its gone. I would do anything to go back to those days. Back in those days, my crushes lasted as long as the class I was in and over by the time I got home. Pandora was nice when she gave me that song.
The next song that was played was "I don't wanna" by Aaliyah. Does anyone else's heart cry a little when they hear an Aaliyah song? Let me go off on a tangent -- I remember exactly where I was when I found out she passed. I was working at Limited Too (now called Justice), when my co-worker Ashley walked in and made the announcement that Aaliyah had just been in the plane crash and DOA. I had started working my sophomore year in high school. My parents never allowed me to try-out for the cheerleading squad and they weren't a big fan of my colorguard days either. The only way I could get out of my house and also my parents approved seemed to be, find a job. Not only had I found a solution, I was making MONEY! It did suck I missed out on most of the football games and I couldn't really do the whole drama thing (theater drama not the he said, she said drama) but it was definitely worth it. My sophomore year, I ran cross country and worked on the weekends. It kept me out of trouble and equally kept me out of the social scene. I would have cross country practice during the week, work 4-10 on Fridays, I would have a meet on Saturdays in the mornings, immediately following the meets I had work 4-10, and Sundays I was the lucky one that got to work 11-7. That totaled out to 8-10 hours of practice, meets on Saturday, 20 hours of work, and 40 hours of just regular school a week. I somehow still go 6-8 hours of sleep a night and had 4 hours to spare for t.v. (pre-DVR days mind you) and homework. It's amazing how much I did back then and now I struggle just to go to the gym 5 hours a week. Clearly, I need to tap into my 16 year old self and stop complaining every morning how much I have to do. I know I just went into a major tangent (it was kind of relevant), but as far as the actual song goes, that brought in another memory all together. I remember the first time I heard that song. I was in 9th grade and on the bus coming back from a marching band competition (I was in colorguard back in the day). I remember I had a crush that year and I immediately related the song to him. Today, as I heard that song, I forget the name of my 9th grade crush, but I reference someone else in my head with that song. My attitude becomes somber and I get a slight grin filled with a little sadness. Funny how I think someone is out of my head and a song reminds me only of them. Even within the sadness of the lyrics, I seem to smile at the simple thought of this person. I'm still a little confused why this person came into mind, well slightly. I guess the song in general makes me think of high school, I met this person in high school, so in turn I think of this person in relation to this song...perhaps? To this day, I've never been able to tell this person how I really feel because I'm scared of ever tarnishing the friendship. The memory of this person is bitter sweet, well played again Pandora (pun definitely intended).
So after this crazy emotional ride, I decided to just change the station to Bollywood in hopes that I wouldn't have to think anymore. Oh no no, Pandora decided to open her box yet again! She plays Tumko Bhi from Kahbi Alvida Na Kehna. For those who don't know Hindi, kahbi alvida na kehna roughly translated means to "never say goodbye". The song is essentially talking about how two people who know they can't be together but don't ever want to say goodbye. You always have a glimmer of hope that it never comes to a final goodbye, but eventually its always best to walk away. Its always hard, always very emotional, and you always wonder if that person will ever come back. In the book Eleven Minutes, Paulo Coelho wrote, "I've learned that waiting is the most difficult bit, and I want to get used to the feeling, knowing that you're with me, even when you're not by my side." Well in light of that quote and conjunction of another famous Bollywood movie, I reference Shahrukh Khan. In Diwali Dulhania Le Jayenge he says something along the lines that habit becomes necessity. Well we can only hope that's the case in this situation. You only hope that the wait is so long, that the feeling becomes a habit, and finally it's only necessary to not have that person by your side and be free from it all. This makes more sense in my head, I promise. The sad reality is you eventually and inevitably have to say goodbye, whether its by the hands of Bhagwan or prematurely for whatever reason, it happens. My advice (take it with a grain of salt) just stay prepared that goodbye can be whenever and unfortunately, usually out of your hands.
Well thanks Pandora for the great trip down memory lane and the emotional roller coaster but I think I might just make my own playlist on my mp3 player until I can emotionally handle your random song turbulence. I think i might need to pull out the DJ Earworm and DJ Encore so I can have mental private dance parties (unless I am in an environment where I can act on it, of course).
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