The art of timing....

"Being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny, and a time to pick up the pieces when it’s all over."

I've been trying to master the art of timing for quite some time now. I have the hardest time letting go. To me, letting go means giving up. A friend is in your life for a reason, at least that's what I've always wanted to believe. The worse feeling that can consume you is that you've lost a friend. Friends have come and gone but the feeling never gets easier. You would think after a while you can numb yourself to that pain but the only thing you can do is wait. Time can be the best and worst thing: you have to wait but it's always something you can count on being there. In due time, all things can be mended, so I'm often told.

I had to look up some Paulo Coelho quotes to make me think about the art of timing. A lot of them usually geared towards the importance of waiting, however, none of them really giving you much hope on how to pacify the anxiety that is sure to come with mastering the art of timing.

Here are a few quotes on waiting and timing from the book Eleven Minutes:

“Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant.”

In the midst of the crisis, it can be so hard to find any brilliance. You're so consumed in agony, defeat, disappointment, or anxiety. Seeing a bright side to any crisis when it provokes so much chaos. It can send you on an emotional rollercoaster and leaves you feeling utterly helpless.

“I’ve learned that waiting is the most difficult bit, and I want to get used to the feeling, knowing that you’re with me, even when you’re not by my side.” 

This quote can reflect on the friendship quote I started the post with. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you. In the book Eleven Minutes, Maria was referring to a love, but the same holds true for a friendship. We can all agree that friendship is a different type of love. While you maybe the one in pain, your friend or love needs the distance and time to reflect on their own. You simply have to wait and seek your own comfort that things will work out for the best. I think the problem with this type of waiting is being in your own thoughts and to have no one to share that with anymore. Paulo Coelho states, "...knowing that you're with me, even when you're not by my side." As I reflect on that part alone, I have to believe that every single friend and love leaves enough of an impact that they are forever with you, just not physically. If someone seeks happiness in your absence, sometimes that can be a jagged little pill but a true friend will sacrifice that much to allow them to be happy.

I found a few more quotes from the book By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept.

“Yes, my mind was wandering. I wished I were there with someone who could bring peace to my heart someone with whom I could spend a little time without being afraid that I would lose him the next day. With that reassurance, the time would pass more slowly. We could be silent for a while because we'd know we had the rest of our lives together for conversation. I wouldn't have to worry about serious matters, about difficult decisions and hard words.”

This quote reminds me of times that I would spend with some of my favorite people and it could have been a a whole weekend but it's just not enough time. In the book, Pilar spends time with an old friend from school and she feels in this moment she want nothing more than to spend all her time with him. We all have those moments we can just wish to capture in a time capsule to put on replay.

“Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.” 

I've been saying from the beginning that waiting is painful. I've got to the point where I realized my elephant memory will just simply not let me forget anything. We can't just build all those memories to let them burn down. Memories can choose to fade in the background but we all have our own triggers for certain things good or bad.

I'll end this post with one last quote on time from The Alchemist without my input . It is a quote I've read multiple times only to find myself in tears knowing that if this is what real love is, the beauty of it all is worth the wait.

"At that moment, it seemed to him that time stood still, and the Soul of the World surged within him. When he looked into her dark eyes, and saw that her lips were poised between a laugh and silence, he learned the most important part of the language that all the world spoke – the language that everyone on earth was capable of understanding in their heart. It was love. Something older than humanity, more ancient than the desert. Something that exerted the same force whenever two pairs of eyes met, as had theirs here at the well. She smiled, and that was certainly an omen – the omen he had been awaiting, without even knowing he was, for all his life. The omen he had sought to find with his sheep and in his books, in the crystals and in the silence of the desert. It was the pure Language of the World. It required no explanation, just as the universe needs none as it travels through endless time. What the boy felt at that moment was that he was in the presence of the only woman in his life, and that, with no need for words, she recognized the same thing. He was more certain of it than of anything in the world. He had been told by his parents and grandparents that he must fall in love and really know a person before becoming committed. But maybe people who felt that way had never learned the universal language. Because, when you know that language, it's easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it's in the middle of the desert or in some great city. And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one's dreams would have no meaning.”

 

Veronika Decides to Die

"It's true in her life she had seen many things through to their ultimate consequences, but only unimportant things, like prolonging a quarrel that could easily have been resolved with an apology, or not phoning a man she was in love with simply because she thought the relationship would lead nowhere. She was intransigent about the easy things, as if trying to prove to herself how strong and indifferent she was, when in fact she was just a fragile woman who had never been an outstanding student, never excelled at school sports, and had never succeeded in keeping the peach at home. She had overcome her minor defect only to be defeated by matters of fundamental importance. She had managed to appear utterly independent when she was, in fact, desperately in need of company. When she entered a room everyone would turn to look at her, but she almost always ended the night alone watching a TV that she hadn't even bothered to have properly tuned. She gave all her friends the impression that she was a woman to be envied, and she expended most of her energy in trying to behave in accordance with the image she had created herself. Because of that she had never had enough energy to be herself, a person who, like everyone else in the world, needed other people in order to be happy. She might have impressed a lot of people with her strength and determination but where had it left her? In a void, utterly alone." -Paulo Coelho: Veronika Decides to Die 

I was reading Paulo Coelho's blog and he posted about one of my favorite books Veronika Decides to Die. In the post, he gave a YouTube link for the movie portrayal of the book starring Sarah Michelle Gellar. I had read the book for the second time after I got out of the hospital. This time I spent time highlighting my favorite quotes and dissecting them further. In so many different parts of the book, I felt choked up as she went through her time in the asylum and the thoughts she went through. As I watch the movie, it's nice to see some of it come alive and more visual. It's not a complete blockbuster but the essence is there. When I first read the quote above I had to read it a few times to feel her passion. My heart was in my throat after I read the quote a few times only to realize Veronika embodies any girl with an insecurity or who has gone through a moment of doubt. It's easy to put our whole life into one quote to explain it all but sometimes you just have to live your life and start making memories to quote your own wisdom. 

"Some people go their whole lives searching for one moment like the one you had and never achieved it..."